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Joke of the Day

"*hands stranger a condom S: I don't need this Me: Yes, you do. I saw the way you pulled out of your driveway. Your pull out game is weak"

Next Joke
 
"Why did Beethoven get rid of his chickens? All they said was ,""Bach, Bach, Bach"""
"I don't believe it, but Google insists I am the first monkey at a typewriter to bang out the phrase, ""So thirsty I could blow a horse."""
"Why can't you fool an aborted fetus? Because it wasn't born yesterday!"
"I miss the good old days when boot camp was for soldiers, not pudgy sorority girls attempting to get in shape for Spring Break."
"One person gets an idiom wrong and it spreads like wildflower"
"Why did italy cross the road? To switch sides"
"I have trouble even monotasking."
"Someone should create a Trump parody Twitter account... That only retweets all the stuff he actually posts"
"NOBAMA I've been seeing a lot of these ""NOBAMA"" stickers recently and I find that I have to agree. I hate the crimson tide too."