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Joke of the Day

"I don't believe it, but Google insists I am the first monkey at a typewriter to bang out the phrase, ""So thirsty I could blow a horse."""

"What did the Arab say to his goat? Jihad Me at hello"

"What do you call something that you do to your self with one hand? A Selfie!"

"Hate when my GF asks me to hold her purse at the grocery store line cause I really don't like being that guy holding two purses."

"When ever someone asks me how I'm able to insult people so well..... I say ""I'm German, roasting people is what I do..."""

"What do you call a laptop that sings? A Dell"

"Priest and a Hindu are making breakfast.. The priest is spreading on margarine and exclaims, ""Look! It's Jesus in the spread!"" Shocked, the Hindu replies, ""Wow, I can't believe it's not Buddha."""

"I'm glad so many American children have smart phones since they don't have an education."

"Dysentery It's a shitty way to die."

"So Kanye West said he is an intellectual who doesn't read books. Which I get because I am an an athlete that rarely moves."