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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between Jimmy Savile and a greyhound. The Greyhound waits for the hair to appear first."

"What do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft? Ab minor"

"Why don't they have driving classes and sex Ed on the same day in Saudi Arabia? Because the camels can't handle it"

"If I die in my sleep, my only request is that you fold me up in my futon and sell it on Craigslist"

"I wish falling in love had traffic lights, so that I would know if I should go for it, slow down, or just stop!"

"Why should rednecks NOT vote for Trump? Because Trump wants to build a wall, and a wall is what killed Dale Earnhardt."

"I like my coffee like I like my women. Black and willing to choke me a little bit."

"Thinking of getting another bed just for all my laundry"

"On the bright side, smoking cigarettes reduces the risk of winning a marathon."

"What's Gandalf's favorite band? A Flock of Smeagols"