161424

Joke of the Day

"I like my coffee like I like my women. Black and willing to choke me a little bit."

"Why don't bananas snore? Because they don't want to wake up the rest of the bunch."

"What do you call a Jamaican proctologist? Pokemon!"

"Chuck Norris uses pepper spray to spice up his steaks."

"I had a dream that I killed all the dumb shirtless guys with 'swag' and their duckfaced girlfriends. It was the Yolocaust."

"Waiter: black pepper? Me: sure Waiter: say when Me: [remembering I have large investments in numerous peppercorn plantations] haha sure"

"I was arrested yesterday for stealing eggs. I could've sworn they were free range."

"I don't understand how people can do such good impersonations. I can't even be myself around other people."

"Yeah sex is great, but have you ever rubbed your eyes for a really long time? O. M. G."

"Couldn't afford the ""Wheres Waldo"" book for my baby niece so I just Tivo'd the winter X-games and told her to find a black man in the stands"