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Joke of the Day

"On the bright side, smoking cigarettes reduces the risk of winning a marathon."

"Look what the cat dragged in! *freaks out remembering I don't have a cat and house was built on top of a pet cemetery*"

"A man walks out of a toilet cubicle with semen coming out both sides of his mouth, what do you know? The floors are level"

"Anti Jokes How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a light bulb? To get to the other side!"

"It's cool how in England they call trucks ""lorries"" and dentists ""never"""

"No sweetie, mommy's not drinking vodka again. This is potato water."

"What do you call a Mexican that flies a plane? A pilot, you racist!"

"Q: What did the sink say to the water faucet? A: You're a real drip."

"Have you guys ever tried Somali food ? Neither have they"

"13: Mom, you look younger every day. M: What do you want? 13: A new skateboard. M: How young? 13: 29 M: Done."