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Joke of the Day

"Why should rednecks NOT vote for Trump? Because Trump wants to build a wall, and a wall is what killed Dale Earnhardt."

"It would be terrifying if Elizabeth I were alive today... ... Because she's dead. Note: Credit goes to my dryly-sarcastic history professor."

"I just tried drinking orange juice with pulp in it and I finally understand why women don't like to"

"What does a programmer have during sex? An ||gasm."

"What do you call an eagle that is sick? Illegal"

"What is red and has seven little dents in it? Snow White's cherry."

"Best yo momma joke? Your momma so ugly when she plays Mortal Kombat Scorpion says ""stay over there"""

"For Easter, I will hide pieces of IKEA furniture all over the house and then have my kid assemble it. If she succeeds, she gets chocolate."

"i tried to ask a girl out today but i messed up my words and accidentally summoned a demon. anyway, whats a good first date for a demon"

"What weighs 35 tons has four fuzzy ears and is 80 million years old? Two rabbits riding a brontosaurus."