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Joke of the Day

"A baby boy was born last week with no eyelids. They used his foreskin to graft eyelids. The poor kid is now cockeyed."

"How many NRA members does it take to change a lightbulb? More guns."

"I just got kicked out of karaoke night for singing ""Danger Zone"" six times in a row... ...they told me I exceeded my maximum number of Loggins attempts"

"I'm 1% inspiration, 1% perspiration, 98% masturbation."

"Two cavemen in the Ice Age are in their cave. One has a philosophical moment pop into his mind. He then says ""what is *UP*?"". The next caveman says ""I don't know, just chilling what's up with you?""."

"I used that classic Liam Neeson line from Taken the other day: ""I will find you and I will kill you."" My grandkids refuse to play hide and seek with me anymore."

"Every onion looks like it was in an abusive relationship."

"What does Lenin say when he his angry? I will hit you so hard that it will leave a Marx."

"brought a knife onto a flight just so the security agents would tackle me because sometimes it's just nice to be held."

"Tired of rap songs starting with MC going ""uhuh uhuh...One two one two...Let's do this..."" No. You shoulda been ready when the song started."