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Joke of the Day

"The Human Centipede wasn't that bad really.. ...most of it was tongue in cheek."

"So how did you die? Too long for here, read comments."

"When I was young I had a fairy God mother. She said I could have one wish, either a long memory or a long penis. I can't remember what I asked for."

"What's the difference between a pun and a dad joke? A pun can make you groan, but a dad joke goes even father."

"Abra abracadabra. I wanna reach out and stab ya."

"I found a way to make all this gender identity stuff work for me. My right hand will now identify as female. Now I won't have to be sad every time I masturbate."

"What does Hillary Clinton call a Trump supporting turtle warming itself in the sun? A basking deplorable"

"Can you identify yourself!! Police officer: ""Can you identify yourself, sir?"" Driver pulls out his mirror and says: ""Yes, it's me."""

"What do you call an online correspondence with a transvestite? She-mail."

"Who delievers elephants's Christmas presents? Elephanta Claus !"