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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between an 8 year old and a big bag of cocaine? Eric Clapton would never let a bag of cocaine fall off a balcony"

"Old MacDonald had a really bad scrabble hand...... E I E I O....."

"Me: Excuse me, where are your nails that twist? Worker: You mean screws? Me: I don't know, I'm not a nail scientist. Worker...."

"Wife: ""Did you know that some idiot paid $96,000 for Princess Leia's gold bikini?"" Me: [nervously tightening my robe] ""Who would do that?"""

"Scientists recently discovered a new dinosaur that was very intelligent They named it Thesaurus"

"So I poured my root beer into a square glass... now I just have beer [](http://i.imgur.com/FVEqK.jpg)"

"YOUR SO BALD THAT WHEN YOU WHERE A TURTLENECK YOU LOOK LIKE A ROLL ON DEODORANT."

"I dated a lizard once but he had a-reptile dysfunction so it didn't work out."

"Politics is just show business for ugly people."

"Never call a girl fat. Because she will always remember it...that's because elephants never forget."