210214

Joke of the Day

"My friend and I are in a beard growing contest Right now it's neck and neck."

"Friendships must be built on a solid foundation of alcohol, sarcasm, inappropriateness, and shenanigans."

"Are you an elixir? Because you made my PP go up."

"What's a sailor's favorite thing to watch at sunset? Knot movies"

"A teenager was stabbed to death in a shopping mall over a stolen pair of trainers. Those security guards don't fuck about."

"What's the difference between Pink and Purple ...your grip."

"How do you spot an engineer at a party? He'll come up to you and tell you himself."

"My ex-wife and I broke up over religious differences. I was agnostic and she was Satan."

"How do you get Pikachu on the bus? Poke 'em on!"

"Why is the story of the Mayan Sacrifice girl so sad? Because she died a virgin!"