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Joke of the Day
"Are you an elixir? Because you made my PP go up."
Next Joke
"At the beginning of this year I made a New Year's resolution to lose 10 pounds.... ...Only 15 pounds to go."
"If you had to describe yourself in one word, what would it be? Bad at following directions."
"What did Pongo say to Goofy at the Annual Disney Dog Conference? I've got 99 problems, but a bitch ain't one."
"Going to meet my daughter's kindergarten teacher tonight. Her name is Miss Cox. Not sure I'm mature enough for this situation."
"What's the hardest part to eat when eating a vegetable? The wheelchair."
"What did the bra say to the hat? Go on ahead I'll give these two a lift"
"Question: What's the difference between Joan of Arc and a canoe? Answer: One is Maid of Orleans and the other is made of wood."
"If there's a zombie apocalypse and you see one zombie taking a nap, that will be me"
"""how was self-deprecating rap battle?"" I don't want to talk about it ""come on what happened?"" they saw my porsche ""oh ouch"""