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Joke of the Day

"My ex-wife and I broke up over religious differences. I was agnostic and she was Satan."

"You know what George Bush and Floyd Mayweather have in common? W."

"I like my women like I like my coffee.... ground up and in the freezer."

"Did you hear about the constipated composer? He couldn't finish the last movement."

"Vitamin C is Spanish for Vitamin Yes"

"What do you call a record of everything that goes in and out of your ass? An ANALog."

"""I love garlic bread! Put another loaf in the oven baby""fun song I made up at dinner. RT to show my family they're wrong & the song is good"

"Taken 3 ~ It All Ends Here Taken 4 ~ Listen, We're Just As Surprised As You Are Taken 5 ~ Whaaaaat!? Yep..."

"My girlfriend's father is pretty religious and said we couldn't make love... which is rather disappointing because he's extremely handsome."

"[God creating wombats] Just roll that balloon in fur and let's call it a day."