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Joke of the Day

"Hey, did you say that your dog likes to 'exercise' or 'exorcise'? [dog is already throwing holy water around the house]"

"How many alcoholics does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to hold the bulb, and one to drink until the room starts spinning."

"I've been diagnosed with a type of amnesia where I deny the existence of certain 80's bands... There is no cure..."

"What's an Apple Scottish self-aware computer called? I, Mac."

"Today, I made the little things count by teaching math to midgets....."

"Whatsapp and BBM have been ranked 2nd and 3rd as the best for gossip.Women continue to rule at No. 1."

"Two condoms walk into a gay bar. One condom says to the other ""hey man, let's get shitfaced."""

"Plane delayed... as Mrs. Plane finishes getting ready. (Courtesy of American Dad)"

"I like my coffee the way a cannibal likes his women. Boiled in a pot."

"All I want is for someone to pretend to love me for who I am, then gradually change me over a period of several years until we both hate me."