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Joke of the Day

"I've been diagnosed with a type of amnesia where I deny the existence of certain 80's bands... There is no cure..."

"What do Monica Lewinsky and a soda machine have in common? They both say insert bill here"

"I got my bucket list mixed up with my shopping list Swam with dolphin-safe tuna."

"*puts arm around you* You've been burned before but, you're safe with me. Let your gaurd down, girl. *steals your pizza*"

"If you managed to figure out the code to someone else's luggage... Could you say you solved the case?"

"So a circumference walks into a restaurant... ...sits down and orders a bowl of diameter ice cream. The waiter asks, ""You want pie with that?"""

"What do you call someone who is obsessed with a constant breeze? a 'fan'atic."

"What do you call a cow that has abortion? Decaffeinated"

"Knock Knock! -Who's there? -I eat mop..."

"I'm getting sick of eating airline food all the time Said the Malaysian shark."