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Joke of the Day

"What do you call an Indian guy who's seen it all? Been-there Done-that Sorry if it's been posted before but I just heard it from my Indian friend and thought I'd share"

"I asked my wife if she wanted me to do anything from Fifty Shades of Gray. She said yes - be handsome and make a billion dollars."

"What's the diffrence between Math and Emos? Math problems actually exist"

"The discharge paperwork at the hospital seems to be expedited a little quicker if you roam up and down the hall with the back of your hospital gown untied."

"For just 2 quarters a day, you can send 2 quarters a day to African children. African children love collecting quarters."

"How does NASA organize their company parties? They planet."

"I lost fifty pounds... Unfortunately, I was in England at the time."

"Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Chuck Norris can kill 100 percent of whatever he wants."

"Why is it customary to drink 8 mojitos a day in Cuba? It's the Hemming way."

"So I asked my roommate why life was so hard... (NSFW Language) He responded, ""How else would it fuck you?"""