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Joke of the Day

"Ladies, when a creepy guy asks for your # and hands u his phone, text REDCROSS to 90999 so he'll donate $10 to Disaster Relief."

"What's a Rastafari's least favourite product? Roundup, because it kills the *weed*!"

"If eye-rolling burned calories, women would never have to diet."

"What sex position makes ugly babies? Ask your parents"

"You all need to stop with the gay jokes. Cum on guys!"

"The downside of robotic limb replacements is that they cost an arm and a leg The upside of robotic limb replacements is that they cost an arm and a leg"

"Did you hear about the optometrist who fell into a lens grinder? He made a spectacle of himself..."

"Before takeoff our flight attendant asked everyone to turn off their Samsung Galaxy phones You know, the ones with the headphone jack"

"Why did the Mexican take Xanax? To stop hispanic attacks"

"I've been starting my diet tomorrow for the last 20 years."