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Joke of the Day

"Having survived numerous mysterious strangers attempting to kill him as a child, Hitler swore revenge on a cruel world."

"What is a Norweigan's compact car of choice? A Fjord Fjocus."

"I was tailgating a slow driver earlier. He brake checked, flipped me off, and when that didn't work he turned his police lights on. Jerk."

"Don't you hate when the whole bus is empty, but some guy sits right next to you? I know you do. That's why I do it."

"If you love someone, let them know often. Because you might not be able to say it again. Also, same thing works for people you f*cking hate"

"I'm like Pac-Man because I travel in the dark to Dippin' Dots stands to eat them, all while getting chased by members of the Ku Klux Klan."

"When I got my first pube, I left it under my pillow and waited for the pube fairy. And he came. All over my pillow."

"Whats the difference between inlaws and outlaws Outlaws are wanted"

"give a man a fish and you feed him for a day Teach a man how to Google how to fish and he'll watch fish porn for the rest of his life"

"The phrase ""don't take this the wrong way"" has a zero percent success rate."