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Joke of the Day

"What is a Norweigan's compact car of choice? A Fjord Fjocus."

"Called Comcast to see about dropping my service and long story short, If anyone wants to watch Showtime, call me on one of my 36 landlines."

"I'm starting a dating app for people who live in Eastern Virginia I'm calling it Chesapeake BAE"

"What lottery did the broom win? The sweepstakes."

"Blood is thicker than water, but maple syrup is thicker than blood. So pancakes are more important than family. There, I said it."

"Decided to announce that I'm gay today after being relieved of my constipation. It felt so good coming out."

"What do you call a possessed chicken? Poultrygeist."

"One horribly inappropriate comment and you'll never be shown another baby photo at work ever again. Totally worth it."

"I fainted at an Indian restaurant when I found out that R.E.M had split up That's me in the korma."

"I got into an argument with my friend and he said, ""Yeah, well my dad can beat up your dad!"" I'm sick of these dad hominem attacks."