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Joke of the Day

"The phrase ""don't take this the wrong way"" has a zero percent success rate."

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"I love when my friends start selling weight loss shakes because that's one less person I ever have to talk to again."
"Why is the apostrophe always near an ""s""? Because it is possessive"
"The first rule of thesaurus club is... You do not talk, speak, communicate, orate, or converse about thesaurus club"
"I'd rather be hit in the face with a shit-filled sock than to ever attempt helping my parents install a DVD player over the phone again"
"What's the best part about gay sex? Reaching around and pretending it went all the way through"
"Do you want to join the ""P"" club? Congratulations, ur-ine!"
"I can't face my checkbook so I check my Facebook."
"Do cops tell bad guys to freeze in Alaska? Or is it just understood?"
"There are 10 types of people... There are 10 types of people in this world, those who understand binary, and those who don't ."