166298

Joke of the Day

"I was tailgating a slow driver earlier. He brake checked, flipped me off, and when that didn't work he turned his police lights on. Jerk."

"The best joke of all time. Women's rights."

"Why does the NSA only do anal? Because they backdoor their way into everything."

"If South Carolina is the Game Cocks Their offensive line would be the cock blockers"

"Why bother drinking water? You're just gonna pee it out. This is what Big Water doesn't want you to know."

"In case you think you have the laziest cat in the world, my cat has had a turd half-in/half-out her butt hole all afternoon."

"Halloween = Candy, Thanksgiving = Food, Christmas = Gifts, New Years = Drinks, Valentines = Sex, Birthdays = ALL OF THE ABOVE"

"Which end of a bus is it best to get off? It doesn't matter. Both ends stop."

"Bernie Sanders is like the Wizard of Oz... ...because he took Kansas by storm."

"I got an oven today. It's pretty hot, isn't it?"