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Joke of the Day

"I'm like Pac-Man because I travel in the dark to Dippin' Dots stands to eat them, all while getting chased by members of the Ku Klux Klan."

"The worst thing about having tourettes... People are always expecting you to say something funny."

"What do cannonballs do when they fall in love? They make bbs"

"Your mother is so fat.. ..when she wears high heels she strikes oil"

"Hot damn, you see this shit honey? The knife on TV just sliced a tomato after cutting drywall. I guess my plan isnt as stupid as you thought"

"*brings a gun to a knife fight* *brings a gun to a pillow fight* *brings a gun to a food fight* who keeps inviting this guy"

"The toilet at a police station was stolen! They had nothing to go on.."

"When wearing a logo or clever t-shirt, make sure your rack looks good. No one likes reading stuff on a lumpy, wavy surface. You too, ladies."

"What do a priest and a swimmer who came in second have in common? The both came in a little behind"

"I have PTSD from catching a glimpse of a co-worker's pale belly roll during a meeting."