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Joke of the Day

"My Thai girlfriend says small penis is not a problem... ..but I still think she should not have it."

"My cat was bitten by a squirrel and I have to suck the rabies out before she slips into a double cheese burger. --how I cancel dates"

"so apparently there isnt an app for pancreatic cancer. Ironic that something abbreviated PC killed Steve Jobs, does anyone think his funeral will be a flash affair?"

"Never end a tweet with a question mark. People will talk to you."

"The biggest problem with getting my picture taken is anytime someone says ""Cheese!"" My immediate response is ""Where!!"""

"Nothing cures insomnia like the realization that it is time to get up."

"A nuclear physicist is drinking at Oktoberfest... He approaches the bar to and calls over a barman. The barman asks what he would like, and the physicist raises one finger and says, ""Ein Stein""."

"What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pile of leafs? Russel"

"Apparently Trump is a neo-Marxist He wants to seize the means of reproduction."

"Me: ""people always think I'm gay! Do I put off a gay vibe?"" Guy whose back I'm massaging in a bubble bath: ""maybe a little"""