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Joke of the Day

"A nuclear physicist is drinking at Oktoberfest... He approaches the bar to and calls over a barman. The barman asks what he would like, and the physicist raises one finger and says, ""Ein Stein""."

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"99 Homes was originally a movie about Mexican gangsters"
"The lord said unto John, ""Come forth and receive eternal life,"" but john came fifth and won a toaster."
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"Sex is like CPR. Two inches at 100 beats per minute."