209519

Joke of the Day

"[reading online survey] Are you ready to double your satisfaction? My god this sounds wildly inappropriate. *clicks yes*"

"Cauliflower is just broccoli ghosts."

"What do you call a gay person from Wisconsin? A Dairy Queen"

"What do you call an abominable snowman who's always late? A not-yeti."

"What would a pig name a chain of food stores? ""Stop ""N Slop Markets"""

"Time flies like an arrow... Fruit flies like a banana."

"What do you call a Tardy count for a school of water bears? A tardigrade!"

"I too lost 120 pounds... And the Judge says the bitch gets to keep the house..."

"My identity was stolen. I hope they do a better job with my life than I did!"

"I was kicked out of karate class today for describing everything the instructor did as ""senseitational"""