197770

Joke of the Day

"The shape... Did you know? The shape of your mouth as you say the word ""poop"" is the same that your butthole makes when you poop! Same goes for diarrhea."

"Why do Queenslanders call their beer, ""XXXX""? Because they can`t spell the word, beer."

"What did the leper say the the prostitute? Keep the tip."

"Colleague: want some popcorn? Keeps you young and beautiful like me Me: Really? Looks to me you should've been eating a hell of a lot more"

"A new species of fish have evolved to have wrists They're called metacarpals."

"Little Girl: ""Mom I want to be a Redditor when i grow up"" Mom: ""Well pick one sweetie, you can't do both"""

"Why do people order espresso shots at Starbucks? Because it's black. Sorry."

"What comes after 69? Neither Alan Rickman nor David Bowie"

"Hey, hot stuff. Pretty sweet vagina you got there. Maybe later, after I unload the dishwasher, we can-No? That's cool. I have stuff to read."

"How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? ""Oh sure, just because I'm a woman means I have to do everything around here. And let me tell you..."""