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Joke of the Day

"Getting a dog next week, i'm naming him Peeve It's my Pet Peeve"

"Valentine man I knew him, you see, This certain young man, And that is why I saw him and ran. In the plan of the ages This tragedy is That I should be An acquaintance of his."

"Where do Crows hang out on friday night? The crow bar."

"ANY voicemail left by the elderly starts off with 2 minutes of ""HELLO? HELLO?"" and ends with them trying to dial another number."

"My coworker replaced her chair with an exercise ball to ""work her core."" I'm eating a giant chocolate chip cookie for breakfast. I win."

"funny how dumbass pet animals will eat the same thing every day without realizing that Subway offers over 19 different ways to Eat FreshTM"

"You can say what you like about pedophiles at least they drive slowly past schools and playgrounds"

"Meant to type ""Lmaoooo"" but left off the ""L"" and now she thinks I'm singing the praises of The People's Republic."

"Did you hear about the rabbi who had a wallet made out of foreskins? He could rub it and turn it into a suitcase."

"What's the best part about being a mohel? (someone who performs circumcisions in the Jewish religion) The tips."