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Joke of the Day

"My coworker replaced her chair with an exercise ball to ""work her core."" I'm eating a giant chocolate chip cookie for breakfast. I win."

"I came home and noticed my dishwasher was missing So I asked my kids what happened. Apparently she left me 3 days ago."

"How can you tell if someone with parkinsons has hypothermia? You can't. That's what makes it so funny."

"How to Make A Cat Go Woof"

"Apple recently changed the gun emoji into a water pistol emoji... Meanwhile Microsoft has just changed their toy blaster emoji into a real gun shots fired i guess"

"""Be patient."" - Mr Miyagi telling Daniel how to bang a nurse"

"That ONE time In class you raise your hand, and some motherfucker screams out the answer."

"What's wrong with a broken alphabetizer? It's out of order."

"What do you do if a bird shits on your car? Don't ask her out again."

"What do you need when you're not doing well in your Advanced Placement U.S. History class? A Push"