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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the rabbi who had a wallet made out of foreskins? He could rub it and turn it into a suitcase."

"When you ask your waiter for an extra pickle, don't wink. It can easily be misinterpreted."

"NEMESIS: i hate you ME: i hate me too. and the enemy of my enemy is my friend NEMESIS: so can you stay the night? ME: i'll ask my mom"

"When my wife falls asleep in a public place, I shake her a little and yell, ""DON'T YOU DIE ON ME!"" People always clap when she wakes up."

"Snow's starting to melt. Soon I'll have to rake the leaves from last fall and do something with the dead panda. I told the kids he ran away."

"Why do Mexicans make burritos? So they can unwrap something for Christmas!"

"*gets pulled over* Officer: how high are u Me: no officer, it's hi, how are u"

"I got in touch with my inner self today That's the last time I buy single-ply toilet paper."

"It's not that the man didn't know how to juggle, He just didn't have the balls to do it."

"So Curtis Jackson has filed for Bankruptcy... at least he still has 50 Cent to his name."