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Joke of the Day

"Meant to type ""Lmaoooo"" but left off the ""L"" and now she thinks I'm singing the praises of The People's Republic."

"Muhammad walks up to the Buddha and says ""Guess what a mosque and 9 year old have in common."" I've been in both."

"My brother had some bad news.. I saw my brother the other day, he told me ""Grandpa got badly burned"" ""Really how badly?"" ""Well they don't fuck around at the crematorium"""

"Whenever I see a couple with a significant height difference, I always picture them doing it."

"I found a typo on these Fruity Pebbles. For the serving size it says 3/4 ""cup."" They totally spelled ""box"" wrong."

"I don't have a gf, but I do know a woman who in the car often asks where this is going so I show her the GPS & she gets mad for some reason."

"What does the CEO of Keurig have in common with ISIS? They both hate the French press"

"Which university has the most muslims? SUNY"

"LPT: If you're not planning to do anything the entire day, Masturbate. Then you won't want to walk or shower and you can waste your day as originally intended."

"Princess Diana had dandruff. Cops found her head and shoulders in the glove compartment."