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Joke of the Day
"Why can't you hear Django Freeman have sex? *The D is silent*"
Next Joke
"Why don't they allow lesbians to play baseball? When they get to third base they think they've scored"
"If you don't like the news, go out and make some."
"How does Anakin Skywalker get around the Death Star? He takes the elevader. *Sith floor, please.*"
"Where do Knights get their armour? The hardware store. One I came up with when I was about 10."
"A monkey was arrested today when he started throwing flaming feces at zoo employees. Three of the zoo employees were rushed to the hospital with turd debris burns."
"Next update: Twitter will tell you what the retweeter is feeling as they retweet your retweet. And what they had for breakfast."
"What do you call a Russian snake that's eating its own tail? An ouroboris"
"My remaining Scrabble tiles were PENSI, so I played the name of a long, hard body part ... ... SPINE."
"After their meal of rawmen and a cup of joe, what do cannibals use to freshen their breath? MenToes"