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Joke of the Day

"After their meal of rawmen and a cup of joe, what do cannibals use to freshen their breath? MenToes"

"I guess it's time to lose some weight. I cut myself shaving and gravy came out..."

"I took the shell off of my racing snail.... I thought it would make him go faster, but if anything it made him more sluggish."

"Me: excuse me, but I can't taste the alcohol Clerk: all smoothies are non alcoholic here. Me: YOU SHOULDN'T CALL YOURSELF A BAR THEN!"

"In New York someone gets stabbed every 52 seconds. Poor bastard."

"I had another server go down on me at work. It's just how I interview waiting staff."

"NICE SPREAD you know where there are certain things you're not supposed to eat buy you cant help yourself? that's why I can never be a gynecologist"

"Whats the difference between Usain bolt and Hitler? Usain bolt can finish a race. Edit: Grammar"

"So a blind man walks into a bar. No one warned him."

"If you have more than zero bumper stickers on your car you have too many."