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Joke of the Day

"My remaining Scrabble tiles were PENSI, so I played the name of a long, hard body part ... ... SPINE."

"How do you starve a black person? Hide their welfare check under their work boots."

"a pizza is basicaly a real-time pie chart of how much pizza i am going to eat"

"Why did the scarecrow get a promotion? He was out-standing in his field"

"Wife: What are you gonna do today? Me: Shower. W: ...what else? M: Make a new iTunes playlist. W: Wow. M: Might not have time for a shower."

"Your hands aren't tied down when you're at the dentist, you're allowed to put your hands in his mouth too."

"Mama Pig has a great new kitchen appliance that lets her prepare meals ahead. It's called a garbage compactor."

"How do you make estrogen? Don't pay her."

"The time between the nurse leaving the room and the doctor entering is for exploring and trying out as many tools as possible"

"Let's make a story together. Comment two words and keep the story going from the previous comments. Anything is allowed if it makes sense.... I'll start. One day..."