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Joke of the Day

"What do mopeds and fat ladies have in common? They're both a great ride until someone sees you on one."

"THE HONEST LAWYER When do you know a lawyer is telling the truth? When his lips are shut."

"i made the mistake of watching a single zit popping video on youtube and now my recommendations screen is trying to make me barf"

"Why are anorexic people cannibals? Because they're always putting their fingers in their mouths."

"I shaved my head the other day... At first I hated the look, but it's starting to grow on me."

"Don't exercise so you can live longer. Exercise so when you're about to die you can think, ""at least I don't have to exercise anymore""."

"Boss: ""you're fired"" Me: ""I guess we're just gonna have to agree to disagree"""

"Q: Why didn't the pig have to pay for drinks on the cruise? A: It was all-oink-lusive."

"Educational video website Lynda.com got hacked I hope they learned their lesson."

"BOSS: I've called you here because I suspect one of you... IS AN OWL ME: Who? *everyone stares at me, even Gary whose head is turned 180*"