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Joke of the Day

"Don't exercise so you can live longer. Exercise so when you're about to die you can think, ""at least I don't have to exercise anymore""."

"Ladies and Gents ""Ladies and Gents.... ...and that concludes our tour of the toilets."""

"Just made eye contact with my hot neighbor through the window Wish I didn't have 6 marshmallows in my mouth."

"The only time I hate being single is when I knock something over & catch it before it hits the ground but there's no one around to see it."

"Butcher A man in a butcher shop: ""I would like bull testicles please"" Butcher: ""Me too"""

"Q. What's pink and fluffy? A. Pink fluff. Q. What's blue and fluffy? A. Pink fluff holding its breath Q. What's green and fluffy? A. Moss."

"How can you tell if your sperm count is high? Your partner has to chew before they swallow."

"What do you call a Korean bulldog? A bul-dog-gi"

"Fancy Dress My mate and I decided to go to a fancy dress but he was adamant that we had to go dressed as Tom Chaplin and Jesse Quin. I wasn't very Keane on the idea."

"On a long road trip.. When deciding whether to stop at a rest area, I always say, ""Speak now or forever hold your pee""."