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Joke of the Day

"If Great Britian leaves the EU then it will be like its own Hong Kong Owned by the British, surprisingly prosperous for its size, and desperately longing to be white."

"If you ever feel sad remember that there's a number you can call and a pizza will be there in 30 minutes."

"What good is Twitter if not to make arcane pop culture references that .0002% percent of the population will understand?"

"What did one pee drinker say when he surprised the other pee drinker? Urine for a treat!"

"it might be a handjob for her... but it's a career for me."

"A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender ""Do you have any helicopter flavored chips?"" The Bartender says ""No, we only have plane"""

"I found girl lying on railroad tracks. I untied her, took her into bushes and we had great sex. No head, though. I never found it."

"I just long for a relationship with someone who doesn't make me feel like I'm missing out on something cool on television or the internet."

"Posted a photo of my clean house on Facebook and it was flagged as fake news."

"RIP boiling water You shall be mist"