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Joke of the Day

"I found girl lying on railroad tracks. I untied her, took her into bushes and we had great sex. No head, though. I never found it."

"How do you tell a Japanese girl you're breaking up with her ? You drop it on her twice."

"Q)What will you call a person who sleeps next to a close relative? A) NapKin"

"If the shoe fits, wear it. And if these shoes belong to someone else, walk away briskly."

"I wish my cat would squirt me with the water bottle when I go to eat junk food."

"Girls, if you're gonna shave your eyebrows off just to draw them on again, at least make them interesting. How about drawing two umbrellas?"

"Will glass coffins be a success Clearly"

"Careful what you wish for!"

"If a prostitute is someone that uses sex to obtain money, what do you call someone who uses sex to obtain you? Yo momma"

"Why does it take so long for a pro-lifer to screw in a lightbulb? They love to watch mistakes being made."