208523

Joke of the Day

"Dude tried to go medieval on my ass, so I went renaissance on his and confused him with my drawings of a flying machine"

"The difference between Usain Bolt and Hitler. Usain Bolt managed to finish a race while Hitler couldn't."

"You don't see many reindeer in zoos do you? No. They can't afford the admission."

"Why are C programmers poor? They don't have any inheritance. Or... Why should you not date a C programmer? They have no class."

"She said yes! Unfortunately, the question was ""Are you sure you want to break up?"""

"Cupping? Isn't that what tween girls do to fatten their lips? #olympics2016"

"Nose hairs must be the longest hairs on the human body. When you pull them your arsehole twitches."

"Why wouldn't the two tampons talk to each other? They are both stuck-up cunts."

"What does a Mexican Morpheus say? Neo, you are the Juan ... I'll show myself the door..."

"What does a dyslexic, agnostic, insomniac do? Stay up all night wondering if there is a dog."