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Joke of the Day

"When you wish upon a star ... you're actually a few million years late, according to astronomy. The star is dead. Just like your dreams."

"For the holidays I've decided to stop making puns... I'm sure yule appreciate it."

"What's the difference between the Cleveland Indians and Shae from Game of Thrones? One blows a 3' 1"" lead and the other blows a 3-1 lead"

"I just watched a film about a couple who bought a haunted yoghurt. It's called Paranormal Activia."

"How does Davy Crockett like his pie? Alamo'd"

"What do you get when you watch 'Cinderella' backwards? A woman in her place..."

"Why can't women read maps? Only the male mind can comprehend the concept of one inch equaling a mile."

"I wrote a song about drawing maps, but it never made the charts."

"""The search for the man who terrorises nudist camps with a bacon slicer goes on.... Inspector Lemuel Jones had a tip-off this morning, but hopes to be back on duty tomorrow."""

"Don't you hate when you do something out of the kindness of your heart & someone gets upset because you shoved a pack of gum in their mouth?"