71628

Joke of the Day

"Don't you hate when you do something out of the kindness of your heart & someone gets upset because you shoved a pack of gum in their mouth?"

"What did one volcano call the other volcano? An Ash-hole."

"Did I ever tell you the story about the time I climbed Mount Everest? I made it up."

"If stealing office supplies were an Olympic sport, they'd test me for steroids."

"Were those thousands of turtle lives worth the life of one stupid, spoiled Princess with a strange fetish for Italian plumbers?"

"[Best man speech] I HAVE DEFEATED THE OTHER MEN IN THIS WEDDING PARTY TO EMERGE AS THE BEST, THE MICROPHONE SHALL BE MINE FOOLISH MORTALS!"

"I'm inappropriate on Facebook because I have to be appropriate and follow the rules in real life."

"So a horse walks into a bar... And many people leave because that is a safety hazard"

"There are 3 types of woman [reddit!](http://data1.whicdn.com/images/55422337/large.png)"

"The Reddit team fired Victoria without telling anyone why. I guess you could say it is Victoria's Secret"