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Joke of the Day
"There was an old man from Peru... whose limericks all end on line two."
Next Joke
"How many lightbulbs does it take to change a lightbulb??"
"Have you had an accident that wasn't your fault? Of course you have, because that's the definition of an accident."
"How do you piss off an emo? Give them a dull razor."
"8:00am on a Saturday morning and my neighbor was mowing his lawn. Now he looks really funny covered in paint balls"
"I have to mispronounce 'Lincoln' and 'cologne' if I want to spell them correctly."
"When is a door not a door When it's ajar"
"Everyone knows that if you pee in a dream, you pee in real life... But did you know that if you go off a guard rail in a dream, you go off a guard rail in real life?"
"*A demon tries to posses my soul while I sleep but can't because he's choking on all of the axe body spray I'm wearing*"
"A group of kids asked me to make a donation to their school & I was so moved I had to reach in my pocket & slowly pull out my middle finger."