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Joke of the Day

"A group of kids asked me to make a donation to their school & I was so moved I had to reach in my pocket & slowly pull out my middle finger."

"Obama is visiting India! Indian government has installed 15000 CCTV cameras. Come on! Just cause he is Black, he won't steal!"

"What does a stripper do with her asshole before she goes to work? She drops him off at band practice."

"Meek Mill's diss track walks into a bar... Bartender takes one look at 'em and says, ""We don't serve trash."""

"I received a lighter as a gift from my gf and it broke after a single use. I told her that there was a spark missing in our relationship. Edit: Spelling. Any Improvements to this joke appreciated."

"After I dislodged my head from the drywall, I had 2 thoughts: 1) Wow, this new Metallica song is really good and 2) I may need new drywall"

"An old lady at an ATM asked me if I could help her check her balance... So I pushed her over."

"What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a BMW? I don't have a BMW in my garage. ....and if I did, I *probably* wouldn't masturbate in it."

"Help oh god a I tied a balloon to my hand and now I'm two hours over the ocean held hostage by the wind"

"Bob the Builder sacked! The BBC have announced that Bob The Builder has been sacked.. They say they can no longer trust any children's Tv star who claims to be able to fix it!!"