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Joke of the Day

"I was watching tv with my mom & she was amazed a blind guy didn't care his son was missing & I was like outta sight outta mind am I right"

"Did you know half your penis is inside you? If that's true, I'm all the way up to three inches."

"Me: smells like upyou'refreetogo in here. Cop: what's upyou'refreetogo? Me: *finger guns* catch ya later Cop: aww damn lol got me again"

"Cow tipping is a myth. Cattle rarely tip even when the service is good."

"What's the difference between a crocodile and a toothbrush? You can't brush your teeth with a crocodile."

"I guess they are calling One Direction 1D Because thats all they've got between all of them."

"I asked my adopted son the name of the workshop the DCF found him in. Build a bear"

"How to offend a lot of redditors at once? You're penis"

"Say what you want about pedophiles! At least they slow down in school zones."

"This morning I was in my car doing donuts in the parking lot at work Now I have glaze all over my balls."