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Joke of the Day

"This morning I was in my car doing donuts in the parking lot at work Now I have glaze all over my balls."

"Moses parts the Hi-C... ...To save the juice"

"Nowhere is it more evident That the middle finger IS a suitable mode of communication Than when driving to work"

"You (drinking coffee): Drugs are bad Me (smugly injecting heroin): Actually, coffee is a drug"

"[terrible nursing home] Old guy: How did you end up here? Elderly me: I made my kids steak instead of hot dogs. Him: *gasps* You monster."

"Did you hear about the blind man walking past the fishmonger's? ""Hello ladies"""

"The word ""methamphetamine"" looks like it was written by somebody using it."

"Ladies, don't wear skinny jeans, if you have no skinny genes."

"Why did Microsoft skip straight to 10? Because Windows 7, 8, 9. I'll see myself out."

"Good girls go to heaven . . . bad girls make you feel like your there ."