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Joke of the Day

"Did you know half your penis is inside you? If that's true, I'm all the way up to three inches."

"Did you hear about the hooker who had an appendectomy? Now she makes money on the side."

"I'm like an onion When I cut myself i cry"

"Son, your mom and I have been fighting a lot lately and we have decided that *dad piledrives mom into the coffee table* we're gonna go pro."

"uk politics joke What do you call a freshly defeated and resigned, anti-immigration uk poilitician who searches his surroundings for food and general provisions? Nigel Forage"

"Does this comic book collection make me look single?"

"What do you call a couple, who are both in wheelchairs? A pair of polegics!"

"I told my wife I'd like to go travelling. She sent me to the supermarket for eggs."

"So my dad has already spent +$300 on coffee this month. That must have Costa lot."

"I'd be much more attracted to you if you were much more attractive."