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Joke of the Day

"If I could see 5 years into the future... would I still have 2020 vision?"

"My sister told me she is going to become fucking rich... I didn't know she wanted to be a porn actress"

"Where's Finnick? Odair he is! Obligatory: My brother told this to me while watching Mockingjay P2."

"My Dad never loved me as a child I should have worn more provocative clothing."

"Did you hear about the plastic surgeon that hung himself?"

"Are you lactose intolerant? If so, you won't be able to handle this cheesy joke"

"There are two reasons I would never drink from a toilet Number 1, and number 2"

"Leaving Twitter for Facebook is like leaving the bar to go home."

"What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb? You can unscrew the light bulb."

"The creator of the 'knock knock' joke was awarded a prize today Unfortunately he wasn't in to receive it"