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Joke of the Day

"I don't have ADD. It's just that everything is more interesting than what I have to get done."

"Most people go talk to a therapist, family, or friends to get shit off their chest... ...I however just go take a shower."

"I'm stuck at a boring wedding reception, tell me a joke to get through it"

"What idiot called him Steve Jobs instead of Mac Daddy"

"I tried watching Inception with Twitter on. I still don't know what Juno was doing in their dreams."

"What do you call a ghost that lives in your butt? An ass-soul"

"[PetSmart] *approaches checkout with bird seed* ""that all for you today?"" Yes. How long does it usually take? ""For what?"" For them to grow"

"9/11 jokes aren't funny. My dad died that day. Isn't it good that he was doing what he loved most - flying planes."

"The new film coming out about a kid with cerebral palsy isn't doing well with critics . . . . . It gets off to a shaky start then ends up falling flat on it's face"

"Why was the Tibetan monk celibate? Because he didn't give a fuck."