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Joke of the Day

"What idiot called him Steve Jobs instead of Mac Daddy"

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"What makes the ocean roar? You'd roar too if you had crabs on your bottom"
"So from now on I believe in talking bears until someone can logically explain how that Ted scene just happened on the #oscars"
"If okcupid is all that great, then why would you need a 3 or 6 month subscription ?"
"I'm not on the Atkins Diet. I'm on the Rowan Atkinson Diet... It's all BEANS!!"
"What do you call a herd of masturbating cattle? Beef Strokinoff."
"Put yourself in my shoes for a minute... ...Now you're a mile away, and you have my shoes!"