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Joke of the Day

"I felt shit today My finger went through the toilet paper"

"What's the most redundant sentence you can come up with? -department of redundancy department"

"Boss: Can I have a word with you? Me: You just had 7 with me. Good talk. Boss: But.. Me: Shhhhhhh....."

"ISIS is really the worst... ... we should bomb them back to the -- whoops, never mind."

"Wearing transition lenses is a great way to block out the sun & anyone from wanting to be friends with you."

"Did you hear about the 80 year old man who ran naked through the flower show? ...he won first place for a dried arrangement!"

"Why was the baby strawberry sad? His mom was in a jam."

"When I got my first pube, I left it under my pillow and waited for the pube fairy. And he came. All over my pillow."

"Who would win a fight between Lemmy and God? Trick question. Lemmy is God *The world lost a great musician today"

"There are other people smarter than me and better looking and more talented and richer but what I have that they don't is bitter jealousy."