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Joke of the Day
"I tried to eat soup with a fork. It was a strain."
Next Joke
"Why did Helen Keller try lsd? Because she was told it makes you see things!"
"Me: ""Dude, I brought another dress for you to clean."" Dry cleaner: *takes off headphone* ""Sorry, come again?"" Me: ""No, mustard."""
"How are a frying pan and a beautiful woman similar? You have to get them both hot before you put the meat in."
"My doctor told me I needed to see a rheumatologist... I told him that's a strange way to say interior designer."
"What's the most fucked up thing you can do to a blind person? Leave the plunger in the toilet!"
"What does Gollum think about Gandalf's smoking addiction? Stupid, filthy habitses!"
"I was asked what I would give the man who has everything... Well, my phone number for a start."
"""This is not working out."" -My trainer, watching me work out"
"Why do Java Programmers wear glasses? Because they don't C#."