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Joke of the Day

"How are a frying pan and a beautiful woman similar? You have to get them both hot before you put the meat in."

"My wife: ""vacation sex really is the best!"" Worst postcard I ever received."

"All of the people complaining about Harriet Tubman being on the new $20 bill... Most likely don't see too many $20 bills."

"There are 60 cities in China with populations over 1 million. SIXTY. All they do is fuck."

"ME: [in g-string and hardhat] You sure this is what Boss meant by strip-mining? [A bat swoops down and tucks a crumpled bill into my thong]"

"The baby mouse ventures out of its lair and sees the world for the first time as a bat flies past.. The mouse rushes back into the lair screaming, ""Mommy, I've just seen an Angel!""."

"warning sign on children's alphabet blocks Letters may be used to construct words, phrases and sentences that may be deemed offensive."

"What did the man get for winning the muscle relaxing contest? Atrophy!"

"My wife left me because I couldn't control my pasta touching fetish... I'm feeling cannelloni right now"

"[Struts in lookin fly as heck in my speedo, shower cap and armfull of baby dolls struts out with new understanding of the term baby shower]"